I recently wrote an article with 20 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People. What the common denominator for almost all of these tips ended up being was that you really need to deal with difficult people by changing yourself rather than them. This is a firm belief that I have for all situations that are making us unhappy. We can rarely change the circumstances around us and can even more rarely change the others within those circumstances but we can always work to change ourselves.

We like to believe that it is the people around us who are causing trouble for our lives. Although the problems that we face do often come to us in the form of conflict with another person, the solutions lie almost entirely within ourselves. How we opt to take in information, react to situations and deal with our own feelings about things is all up to us and that’s something that can entirely alter the situations that we find ourselves in.

For example, your husband goes on a business trip and doesn’t call you when he arrives even though you think that he should. You get angry. And then you get worried. And then you get anxious because you’re wondering where he is and what he’s really doing and why he hasn’t called and who he’s doing things with and … you make yourself crazy and angry. And when he calls, you express this anger and the two of you get into an argument.

In your mind, this entire thing was caused by the fact that your husband didn’t call. In reality, it was caused by your own belief that he should’ve called and your choice about how you reacted to it. Yes, he could’ve been doing god knows what with god knows who or he could’ve been lying in a ditch somewhere but neither of those things would have been altered by your own over-the-top reaction. You can choose to simply not react in this manner and save yourself a lot of chaos in your mind.

This isn’t to say that your husband shouldn’t call if he said he was going to. It’s to say that you can choose healthier options for your own mind and healthier ways of communicating your feelings. You can wait until your husband gets home to discuss how this made you feel and what you wish could be different next time. And you can give him the room to react accordingly. You can choose to be different if you want your relationships to be different.

Tags: change, communication, dating, friendships, how to improve relationships, hubpages, kathryn vercillo, people, Relationships

The London Summit meeting of the G20 economies is set to take place in a couple of days and people are predicting disaster. The purpose of the meeting is for the financial leaders of the world’s major economies to come together to discuss solutions to the problems facing the global economy. However there is a lot of controversy surrounding the event and concerns from many that nothing will actually be done to resolve the world’s global financial problems.

There are a number of protests happening this week in London surrounding this event. The news is predicting that a failure to achieve a positive result from the meeting could end up causing these reltaively peaceful protests to get out of hand and to become future riots. Just what would cause that or how long it would take to occur is unclear.

What underlies all of this is a feeling of fear. People are afraid that the financial situation that we are facing isn’t going to get better and they’re terrified that it could get worse. Whenever fear motivates our actions, problems are created. Is there a way for us to approach the concerns of the economy without coming from a place of fear?

Tags: fear, g20, global economy, hubpages, london, money, news, politics, summit

As mentioned earlier today, I think that it’s useful for me as a HubPages writer to take a look at how my hubs fare traffic-wise each month.

Here’s a look at my lowest-traffic Hubs for March and why I think they didn’t get much attention online:

1. Choosing a Restaurant for Valentine’s Day. How to pick a romantic restaurant.
2. The Perfect Valentine’s Gifts. Which romantic gifts are best?
3. Everyone’s Favorite Holiday Gifts. What do you want at Christmas time?
4. Tips for a Healthier Super Bowl Party. Great low-fat snacks for sports parties.
5. Great Wine Without a Great Cost. Good wine doesn’t have to be pricey.
6. Evaluating Credit Card Offers for College Students. Which deals are best?
7. Why to Improve Your Credit Score. There’s a reason that you really want to.
8. Job Trends for Real Estate Agents. What was going on with real estate jobs when this was written?
9. Small Business Marketing Guide. How to network and market for your small business (and small budget!)
10. Tips for Dealing with Frightening Changes in the Economy. How to cope.

It totally makes sense that the first four articles here weren’t getting traffic in March since they are seasonal articles that aren’t so appropriate right now (although some of the tips really aren’t time-sensitive). Several of the other articles are just old (older than a year) so that’s probably why they aren’t getting attention although I’m sad to see that no one is reading about how to deal with the economy’s changes since that’s important right now.

Tags: articles, hub pages, hubpages, kathryn vercillo, tips, web traffic, worst hubs, writing

I have been writing articles over at HubPages for two years as of this month. I’m always interested to see which articles stand the test of time and which ones fade away after their original publication. One of the best ways to do this is to look at the best and worth hubs each month.

Here is a look at the top ten articles for amount of traffic in March:

1. How to Delete a Browser Cookie. Tips for deleting browser cookies for Internet Explorer users.
2. How to Tell a Close Friend that You’re In Love with Him or Her. Thoughts on whether or not to tell a friend that you want more and how to do that.
3. Top 10 American Fashion Designers. A look at some of the great fashion designers that work from the U.S.
4. How to Open a RAR File. In case you need to open a RAR file and don’t know how.
5. How do you Know When Mushrooms Go Bad? You wouldn’t want to eat bad mushrooms.
6. Fat Profiles of Olive Oil vs. Canola Oil. Information on whether there’s more fat in olive oil or canola oil and what kind of fat it is.
7. Tips for Getting Rid of a Caffeine Headache. Many people want to give up caffeeine but they end up with headaches. Here’s how to get rid of them.
8. Indoor Activities that Bring Couples Closer Together. People who want to stay indoors together should figure out how to have fun there.
9. How to Build a Treehouse. Thoughts on how to start building a tree house and where to get more info to complete the project.
10. Swimming vs. Running – Calorie Burners. Which one burns more calories – running or swimming?

So the articles that people were interested in this month were a decent mixture of topics but the focus seems to be on food and exercise, tips for tech tricks and “how to” type articles. What do you think made people most interested in these articles in March?

Tags: articles, best articles, how to, hub pages, hubs, kathryn vercillo, top hubs

I don’t have a good mirror in my home. I have one standard bathroom mirror that was here when I moved in and I have one cheap full-length mirror that hangs on the bathroom door so that I don’t leave my house without getting a glimpse of how I look. However, I think that mirrors can be really great pieces of a home’s design as well as great tools for assessing your own look so I’d certainly like to have a better mirror.

Some of the things that I’m taking into consideration before choosing a mirror include:

• Where the mirror will go. I can’t make too many other choices about the mirror until I know how much room I’m working with.
• The shape of the mirror. I’d like to get one with a unique shape instead of one that’s just rectangular.
• The size of the mirror. It needs to be at least full-length but should it be even bigger?
• The color and design of the mirror. I want to get a mirror that has some unique artsy look to it whether that’s through the color or through some sort of ornate framing.
• The quality of the mirror. The ones that I have now are poor in quality so my reflection isn’t really accurate and I want a good one to replace them.
• The cost. After all, I don’t want to spend a fortune on the mirror.

What else should I be thinking about when choosing a mirror?

Tags: home design, houzz, how to choose a mirror, Interior Design, kathryn vercillo, mirror, mirrors

Everyone says that couples fight most about sex and money. Although there are many reasons for this, I think that a big one is that these are the two core topics that seem to be off limits for discussion in our society. We need to learn how to talk about each of them more openly and less defensively in order to reduce the amount of negativity that we experience surrounding them.

I recently wrote an article with 100 Tips for Talking about Money. The article covers different tips for discussing money with different people at different times. For example, there are tips for talking about money with a romantic partner before you move in together as well as after and there are tips for talking about money with your parents when you still live with them, after you move out and later when it may be time for them to move in with you.

Money impacts all of our relationships. It is a factor in friendships when it comes to how often to eat out, where to go and whether or not you can talk about money together. It’s a factor in proper parenting and the education and independence of our children. It’s a factor at work where salaries can cause controversy. Because it’s such a prevalent part of our lives, we really need to learn how to talk about!

Tags: discuss money, finance, money, money and relationships, money conversation, people and money, Personal Finance, talk about money, talking about money

I’ve been thinking a lot about art lately and about what draws me to different types of art. There are many different mediums that I like and many different styles of art work that appeal to me but I’ve been trying to see if there is a common theme in what I find myself most attracted to. Although it doesn’t hold true all of the time, I have found that I particularly like artwork that depicts people.

I suppose that people in general really fascinate me. I am interested by human emotions and human psychology and human relationships. The artwork that I’m drawn to is artwork that manages to capture those human things in images and to convey them to me somehow without words. (An example that is at the forefront of my mind right now is the work of Kenney Mencher, a San Francisco artist who is showing his stuff in the city this week.)

I am certainly attracted to other types of art at times. Mobile phone art was an example I talked about here recently. And yet, even with that, I tend to be interested in the statement the art makes about humans. I relate object art and landscape art back to the people who aren’t in the image. Is that true for you as well? Do you create stories about art that include people or is there something else in art that draws you in?

Tags: art, creativity, kathryn vercillo, paintings, people

I recently answered a question on Yahoo! Answers that had to do with Twitter. I’m interested by Twitter despite the fact that I have something of a love/hate relationship with the social networking site. I’m intrigued by how it is being used by different types of people.

Recently I’ve been reading a lot of articles online by people who believe that Twitter can improve their writing. It’s an interesting idea and goes to show that technology tools can be used in different ways to achieve different ends by different people.

The question that I answered on Yahoo! Answers was a simple question about the difference between ReTweets and Replies. Most Twitter users can easily tell you that a ReTweet is a re-post of someone else’s Twitter information whereas a reply is a response to what someone has written.

Only a couple of us bothered to respond to this Yahoo! Answer and my response, being thorough, was chosen as the best answer there.

Tags: answer question, kathryn vercillo, q&a, questions, reply, retweet, Social Networking, twitter, Yahoo Answers

The Kindle Reader is a great tool for reading books in today’s modern world. You can use it to access an online library where the books that you want are at your fingertips. You can read these books from anywhere without having to worry about the heft that we usually associate with the idea of taking books with us places. So it’s a great thing to play around with. And from what I understand, Kindle 2 is way better than the original Kindle Reader.

There are a few big things that make the Kindle 2 a better gadget. These things include:

• Thinner and lighter. It’s less than one third of an inch thick and weighs barely more than ten ounces. How many good books do you know that you can say that about?!
• Lasts longer. The battery life has been extended and the book offers more storage than the original version which means that you can go a lot longer before you need to download more books or recharge your battery.
• Improved reading experience. The new Kindle is quicker at page-turning and has more options for a better display in terms of colored text so your experience while reading should be better.
• It reads to you. It can translate text into speech and read the book to you. That’s just cool.

Has anyone tried both the Kindle and the Kindle 2? I’d love to know your opinions on their differences.

Tags: amazon, books, kindle, kindle 2, kindle reader, reading, Technology

I have just finished reading The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage. This is a collection of essays that makes a complete anthology of how women (mostly females who make a decent living at writing) feel about their lives as women. A theme that seems to course through the book is that these women are trying to figure out the nuances of how to make choices and decisions in a life comprised of multiple demands and options.

What is great about this anthology is that it is filled with really honest and articulate writing about emotions and thoughts that sometimes don’t get revealed in other types of writing. The women who contributed to this anthology all seem to be able to take the many different (and often contradictory) feelings that they’ve dealt with over the years and to put them into words that any reader can clearly understand even when the emotions themselves may have been confusing.

People today are struggling to make choices in a world where there isn’t a set pattern for how to live your life. Both men and women decide every day about how to handle their daily decisions in a way that is true to who they are and yet flexible enough to accommodate the changing needs of others in their lives. Reading this book provides insight into how some smart, independent women are figuring that out. For women who need more than just their own social circle to help them understand the thoughts and feelings that they themselves are having, this book is a great start.

Tags: anthology, bitch in the house, book recommendation, book review, books, books for women, cathi hanauer, essays, hanauer, reading