I used to feel a big sense of obligation to make/buy Christmas presents for a lot of the people in my life. It wasn’t that I felt that I was obligated by them. It was that I obligated myself because I wanted these people to know that they were in my thoughts all year long. While I think it’s great to give gifts to recognize the importance of people in our lives, I’ve long since stopped feeling obligated to give anything to anyone.

What I’ve learned over the years is that it’s totally okay if your Christmas gifts aren’t ready by Christmas or if you don’t even give something to someone special after all. Although there are some people in our lives who may feel huffy puffy and hurt that we don’t give them something at the holidays, the people who really know us know that this is nothing to be hurt by. We make sure to give them gifts all year long and de-emphasize the importance of giving on Christmas.

I am actually planning to make a few things for people for the holidays this year. It works out well for me that some projects that I’m wrapping up at the end of the year were intended for certain people in my life. I’ll get out the wrapping paper and have these things ready to go under their tree. However there are some other people I’d kind of like to give gifts to but who I won’t have anything ready for before the holidays arrive. I’ll get something to them when I get the chance.

The trick here is to give yourself permission to not be obligated to give gifts to anyone. It’s to have a talk with yourself about how it’s okay not to give a gift to someone if you don’t have something picked out and ready yet. It’s to remind yourself that the holidays should be more about spending time together and saying the kind things that you want a gift to say than about actually giving a gift to someone. It’s about letting yourself be okay with just receiving gifts from someone graciously if they’ve gotten something for you and you don’t have something ready for them.

A no-obligation Christmas isn’t about being stingy. It isn’t about ignoring the holidays. It isn’t about getting without giving. Instead it’s about putting yourself first and letting yourself know that it’s okay not to give something to everyone on your list right now. You’ll get to them. You’ll let them know that you care about them. It’s okay.

Happy holiday season! Be kind to yourself this month!

Tags: be kind to yourself, christmas, holidays, no obligation christmas