I’ve been enjoying the weather here lately. Today I decided to go get myself a burrito for lunch and head to the park that’s near me. It’s a popular park where dogs are allowed off leash so lots of puppies thought they’d try and take my burrito from me. 
Tags: neighborhood park, park
How the heck is it already Monday again? I’m not sure but I do know that it means that it’s Happy Homemaker Monday here on this blog, a project which is hosted by Diary of a Stay at Home Mom. Here’s what is going on right now in my world.
The weather:::
I’m definitely planning to try to get some outdoor activity on Thursday or Friday!
On my reading pile:::
Hit by a Farm: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barn
This is actually the first in a trio of memoirs that I already read the third one from (Sheepish, which I mentioned previously)
Manthropology: The Science of Why the Modern Male Is Not the Man He Used to Be
And I’ll also be reading some vintage crochet and homemaking magazines this week.
On my TV:::
I think this coming week I’m actually going to track exactly what I watched to see how much TV I’m really watching. Some of the things that my Hulu watch history says I’ve watched this week are:
(Basically a Canadian Sex in the City)
Dance Moms
On the menu for this week:::
Cinnamon Wheats with fresh fruit for breakfast. Lots of salads. Some rice and steamed veggies. Maybe lean pork chops.
On my to do list:::
What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
Looking around the house:::
It’s time to take those bags of junk to the Goodwill. They’ve been sitting here ready to go for weeks.
From the camera:::
Something fun to share:::
Inspirational Quote:::
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you.” – Martha Graham
Happy Monday everyone!
I haven’t set any specific goals for posting on this blog yet but I do know that I want to try to get a good personal post in once or twice per week. By that I mean a post where I really take the time to sit down and honestly share what I’m thinking and feeling, like a true journal entry, rather than just sharing photos and information about the things that I’ve been up to. I do enjoy sharing those, too, but I want this to be a place where I really get into the nitty gritty of my mind. So I’m taking the opportunity on this slightly rainy Wednesday morning to jot some thoughts down before I get up and really get going with my day.
The main thing on my mind right now is work. In 2006 I left law school and a social work job to begin freelance writing full time. I did well for myself and enjoyed a lot of variety in that career path. However, I was doing writing primarily for other people’s sites and publications. Last year I decided that it was time to make another transition and start writing nearly entirely for my own stuff as opposed to for other people. So I’ve been focusing on my crochet blog and am re-launching this blog, have published a booklet of crocheter stories and am working on some other books. I am happier with my work that I have ever been in my life and that means a lot to me. But it comes with a price (or two).
The main concern right now is money, which is frustrating. The thing is that I’m not 21 anymore. I’ve experienced making decent money and I’ve grown accustomed to an adult life with some creature comforts. I don’t spend lavishly but I like expensive soy milk and the occasional bottle of wine and living alone in a lovely part of the city. It was a big step for me a few years ago when I got my own health insurance as a freelancer. And last year I started putting money in an IRA for the first time. And although I still have health insurance and I haven’t touched the money in the IRA, my savings are rapidly being depleted and I’m struggling with bills for the first time in a long time. That’s a frustrating stage to be at because it feels like I’m going backwards financially.
Most of the time, I’m okay with this. I think it’s worth it because I wake up every day wanting to do more work instead of dreading what I have to write that day. Writing for others had many wonderful benefits and there are things (even non-financial) that I miss about it which is why I do sometimes still seek out that type of work. However, writing for other people tended to drain my creativity whereas writing for myself just generates more and more creativity. I value that. It’s a quality of life issue for me and I’m willing to pay a price for that.
Moreover, I do believe that in the long term this path will lead to financial stability and even success. On a practical level, I’m doing more stuff that generates long-term passive income. Additionally, I’m getting the ball rolling on a true career whereas before I was just writing to support someone else’s career path and of course developing your own career is typically the better financial option. On a more esoteric level, there is a part of me that believes that when you are doing what you are happy doing and are also good at doing then you are on the right track and the universe (if you will) is going to reward you with the opportunities and advantages necessary to be successful.
So I’m happy with that. But when it comes time to actually pay the bills, it’s a little tough to remember that, which is part of why I’m journalling it down to keep it in perspective!
The other rough side of doing my own work is that those self-doubts creep in about my writing. It doesn’t matter how many accolades you get as a writer, when you sit down to develop the next step in your career, you always have doubt. You wonder if you’ve got anything left and if anything that you’ve written before was actually any good. And I have to fight that sometimes although it’s been better lately since I feel like I’m in line with what I’m truly wanting to do with my life. That said, there were doubts when writing for others as well, because I felt like my talents were being wasted writing the same types of articles again and again but at the same time wondered if I was capable of doing more. So I guess this isn’t really a new problem, just a different twist on it.
To keep things in perspective, I’m happy with this work and I’m getting closer to making ends meet so I think it’s all good for now despite some tough days.
I suppose the other main thing on my mind these days is the whole idea of dating and what type of partner I want to have in this life. Throughout the course of my last relationship I truly desired a closer partnership with someone who really wanted to make a life with me. But sometimes I wonder whether that’s because I genuinely wanted that or if it’s because I wasn’t getting enough from that specific relationship and it caused a battle in me to want to fight for more. I’m not sure at this stage. Some days I feel very clear about what I want and other days I don’t have a clue. And I think that it’s important to know what you want before you get too involved with someone so that you can adequately articulate that to them. So that’s something that’s on my mind as I try to puzzle through it.
I think part of the problem is that what I think I want in theory doesn’t actually work with my personality. In fact, I was just talking to a good friend of mine about this. Somehow we had gotten to talking about couples that make life lists (bucket lists) and keep journals and that kind of thing together. And I said that I always kind of wanted a partnership like that. However the truth is that my personality is really independent and in the end I don’t think that I’m attracted to the type of relationship that would involve that level of interactivity with one another on such a steady basis.
But I’m not sure. Because sometimes I fantasize about having a life partner who would also be my work partner and with whom I could collaborate creatively. But then sometimes that sounds terrible. I don’t really want to spend so much time with anyone that I’m with them at work and at home. Heck, I don’t even know that I really want to share my home with someone. So maybe I want a work partner OR a life partner but not both, either from the same person or from two different people.
In reality, I think that a lot of this will solve itself as time goes on and I start meeting people and figuring out what works with whoever I “click” with. One of the core things I learned in therapy was that I do a lot of “future tripping” and that it’s really valuable for me to learn to “be where I am” and deal with what I’m actually feeling in the moment. At the same time, I do feel like I tend to lose myself in relationships in a way that isn’t healthy for me and I want to have at least some solid sense of what I’m seeking in order to avoid the worst of that.
At this stage, I’m not dating, but I’m beginning to think about dating. I think that whatever happens, I’m going to need to take it slowly and feel my way along and stay in touch with myself. We’ll see.
I mentioned previously that I’m going off of birth control after five years. I thought I’d give a little update to say that I’m not actually experiencing anything different with my body yet. I’ve been off the pill for about a week now (plus the week that would have been placebo pills anyway) and I expected to feel something or other but besides being a little more tired than usual I’m feeling the same as always.
Tags: journal entry, musings, thoughts
How the heck is it already Monday again? I’m not sure but I do know that it means that it’s Happy Homemaker Monday here on this blog, a project which is hosted by Diary of a Stay at Home Mom. Here’s what is going on right now in my world.
The weather:::
This week’s weather in San Francisco is typical for this time of year as we enter our rainy season.
On my reading pile:::
KaChing: How to Run an Online Business that Pays and Pays
Unexpected Crochet For The Home
On my TV:::
In addition to the usual stuff, I’ve added a few new TV shows to what I’m watching:
Did you know that I’ve written a book on the Ghosts of Alcatraz
On the menu for this week:::
I went to the Japanese supermarket a few days ago and it turns out that they have a great selection of thinly cut meats. I rarely cook meat but I picked up some beef as well as some pork so I’m going to try my hand at doing something with that this week. I’ll probably make a stir fry one day and just a rice bowl with veggies and beef the other day. We’ll see.
On my to do list:::
What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
Looking around the house:::
Uh oh … my comfy couch looks just as bad as it did when I reported last week. Still covered with junk to be sorted through. How did a whole go by without dealing with it? I think this is how hoarding starts!
From the camera:::
Sometimes my breakfast smiles at me.
Something fun to share:::
I participated in my first cross-blog conversation on my crochet blog, talking each day with Sara from Mom with a Hook. It was wonderful and it makes me want to do more of these conversations. In fact, I’ll be doing one here next week chatting with Aprile of The Steady Hand.
Inspirational Quote:::
“If our shadow could talk, it would tell us that our brightest light can shine only when we’ve accepted our darkness.” ~ Debbie Ford
Happy Monday everyone!
I often think of small little notes that I want to share with others but they aren’t things that require a whole blog post. I’ll be sharing these in short snippets under the feature title: K-Tips. (Kathryn’s Tips).
For example, today I was thinking about how I mix my coffee and tea and I thought that others might like to know that I do this by putting two different coffee filters into the coffee maker. I put the coffee in first then I put a second filter on top of that and add the loose tea. Then I brew as normal. The reason that I do this is because the tea can be re-used many days in a row but the coffee is too weak if you re-use it. So I pop the tea filter out, put in new coffee in a bottom filter and then pop the tea back in.
Tags: coffee tea, Food, K-tips
How the heck is it already Monday again? I’m not sure but I do know that it means that it’s Happy Homemaker Monday here on this blog, a project which is hosted by Diary of a Stay at Home Mom. Here’s what is going on right now in my world.
The weather:::
It’s nippy out now but it’s supposed to get sunny later. Sadly the week was supposed to be sunny moving forward but now it’s looking like it’s going to be rainy instead. We’re entering rainy winter season here.
On my reading pile:::
I am almost done reading Catherine Friend’s Sheepish: Two Women, Fifty Sheep, and Enough Wool to Save the Planet
On my TV:::
Oh, yeah, perhaps I’m reading so slowly because I’ve got the TV on way too much.
Netflix added a few of my favorites so I’m doing some marathoning of:
and
And the fall shows have started again so since my last update I’ve watched single episodes of:
On the menu for this week:::
I’m loving this morning mixture of coffee and tea. Kona coffee and Apricot Chai is my go to this week. I’ve got tons of salad supplies so I’m going to mix up some olive oil and vinegar combos (I love flavored vinegars and also have a great flavored lemon olive oil) and make lots of salads this week. I’m also thinking lots of steamed black rice and veggies.
On my to do list:::
What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
I’m about to finish crocheting a new dress that I’m super excited about. If I get it done by Wednesday morning I’ll be showing it off then over on Crochet Concupiscence.
Looking around the house:::
It’s getting back to normal! Finally. The bedroom is mostly decluttered and looking good. All the old junk in the bathroom has been thrown out. The kitchen is happy. It makes me feel a lot better. The living room needs some serious work, though. See – this is supposed to be my comfy couch:
From the camera:::
from the Sharf Reef aquarium a Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas
Something fun to share:::
Crochet Playground Sculpture in Japan. Learn more here.
Happy Monday everyone!
Yep, I’m joining in again this week for Happy Homemaker Monday, which is hosted by Diary of a Stay at Home Mom. Here’s what is going on right now.
The weather:::
I’m in Las Vegas this week. There’s a nip in the air but it’s still sunny. I’d say it’s about 55 degrees F during the day but I haven’t actually checked it so don’t quote me.
On my reading pile:::
I have started reading (and loving) Catherine Friend’s Sheepish: Two Women, Fifty Sheep, and Enough Wool to Save the Planet
On my TV:::
As I work right now I’m watching a marathon of Dance Moms. Yes, I sometimes watch embarrassingly bad TV. Although I’m only half watching of course.
On the menu for this week:::
While in Vegas … I’m feeling lots of soup and salad right now. Yesterday was French onion soup for lunch and a Cobb salad for dinner. We’ll see.
When I get back home … There are some mashed potatoes in the fridge I need to finish up. I’ve got Chex cereal for breakfast. Not sure about the rest.
On my to do list:::
Keep my crochet blog up to date while I’m in Vegas. Get home and spend a full day recuperating from all of this activity. Get ahead on the blog, finish a crochet project that’s due at the end of the week, organize, watch more bad TV. Do some nothing. I need some nothing.
What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
I’m working on a chain-single crochet stitch pattern for a crochet scarf using superfine alpaca yarn that’s ribbon-style. I’m not sure whether or not I like it.
Looking around the house:::
It’s a hotel. It’s got two queen beds, a cute arm chair, a small table, a small desk. It’s nothing spectacular but it’s all right. It’s clean and decluttered which I’m loving right now!
From the camera:::
Something fun to share:::
I’m doing a 365 photo project this year. Check it out.
Yesterday we went to the horse races at Golden Gate Fields. I bet trifectas on each of the nine races because that’s the bet I like the most. It means that you choose which horses will come in first, second and third in the right order and if you get it then you usually win fairly big.
Unfortunately I never hit the trifecta this time around. It was me, my sister and our friend. My sister won $2. My friend won $34 which was a nice surprise since he only chose the single winning horse but apparently it was a long shot because it paid out well. And I didn’t win.
That’s actually the first time I haven’t hit it at least once during the day in the times that I’ve gone. I’ve only gone three or four times – about once per year. I still had a lot of fun, though. It was a nice, sunny clear day (although a tiny chill was in the air). Good company, good relaxation, nice time. Can’t complain about that.
I was super exhausted when I got home though. I don’t know if it was the day out in the fresh air or the excitement of the races or just doing sooooo much lately with my siblings. Whatever it was, I really wanted to fall asleep as soon as I got home. I couldn’t though because I had to pack for Vegas. We had a five am flight today and I’m here now, getting caught up on lots of stuff and ready for a few days of fun in Sin City.
Tags: golden gate fields, horse racing
Here’s some of what I was up to yesterday and today:
My sister and I went to the Contemporary Jewish Museum for the first time. I found out that they don’t have a permanent collection. There were three exhibits set up: Houdini, Black Sabbath (musical intersection of African American and Jewish musical cultures) and Jews in the SF Bay Area.
Since it’s right next door to the museum we also popped into Saint Patrick’s Church, a historic San Francisco church with some lovely green marble interior work. I’ve been here before but my sister hadn’t.
A group of us went to go see Bring it On: The Musical at San Francisco’s Orpheum Theater
With a knit yarnbomb outside my local post office. I didn’t make it but it always brightens my day to see little yarnbombs here and there.
Yesterday’s snack: Rustic Bread dipped in lemon olive oil and raspberry balsamic vinegar
My loose plan was to try to write a daily diary entry here but of course it can be tough to write every single day sometimes. By the time I was ready to write last night I was also kind of just tired and ready to lay down and zone out. But that’s okay. I’m here this morning getting going and I thought I’d jot down a few notes about my yesterday.
The past few days have just been super busy in a weird slow way. The actions are not crazy fast or busy but somehow I fill the whole day with activity and haven’t been able to get done nearly all that I want to get done. I think part of it is having my sister here. I’m so used to living alone that hours slip by when I’ve got someone around the converse with, eat lunch with, do nothing with. It’s not all that, of course, since I can easily waste hours on my own, too, but I think that’s part of the culprit right now. The other part is the fact that I’ve got a ton of things that I’m getting set up for my other blog, Crochet Concupiscence, and I’ve got this blog started again and I also just have tons of little projects that I’ve got to wrap up and whatnot. So I can do stuff all day on all of that and still have a lot left. Which is fine. I pretty much planned for January to be this way, a month of organization and prep for the rest of the year.
A large portion of yesterday was spent getting posts ready for the crochet blog. I do about five posts per day on that site and I’ve started some new daily features that require additional research that I’m not used to yet. I typically spend 2-3 days per week focused on getting that content ready and then the rest of the week on other writing and other things. However, I’m behind right now because of travels and whatnot so there’s just a lot of daily writing and catching up to do. I’m definitely not complaining about that. I love writing my crochet blog. I’m just saying that’s where a lot of hours went.
I only left the house for a little bit yesterday. It was a pretty nice day out and good to get into the fresh air. I went for my daily walk and my sister came along. We tried to go to the library but it turned out they were still closed for New Years so I just dropped a couple of books in the slot and came home. I did try to start reading The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work but I just couldn’t get into it so I still haven’t actually read much so far in 2012.
I talked to my brother for a little while in the afternoon. He works two jobs so his time to chat is always limited but we try to catch up weekly when he’s got a bit of time off. I was just down there for two weeks so it’s not like we had tons of new stuff to say but we were just chatting about plans for the new year and whatnot.
Towards the end of the night my sister and I put on another experimental film, Santa Sangre. I’m still digesting the strangeness of that movie, I think, so I’ll come back later for a review.
The first week of the month features lots of free museum days here in San Francisco so my sister and I are going to take advantage of that. I still haven’t been to the Jewish Museum here so we’re going to go over there and check it out and see some sort of talk about Houdini while we’re there. If we have time, we might go to a different museum that’s also in the area. Tonight we’re meeting some friends for Bring It On The Musical which is certainly going to be as cheesy as it sounds but it should be a lot of fun. I have a good group of friends that I meet up with once or twice a month and it’ll be good to catch up after the holidays.
Tags: #myday, about my life, daily diary entry
