I went to a barbecue earlier in the summer at a friend’s place in Berkeley. There were a lot of great things about the BBQ (great food, great people, etc.) but the thing that stands out most in my memory of this event was the outdoor fire pit that she had in her backyard. I’m convinced that the whole reason that this BBQ felt like an awesome party was because of the fire pit.

I’ve always liked fire pits. They’re great at parties because they provide a central gathering place for everyone to come together and talk. At other barbecues I usually see people standing around in groups of 3 or 4. When there’s a fire pit, everyone tries to hang out together near the fire. This means that you end up getting the chance to talk to more people when you attend a BBQ that has one.

This was definitely the case with the party in Berkeley. I probably would have only talked to the few people that I knew if I didn’t have a good reason to go gather with everyone. However, since we were all sitting around the fire together, I was able to meet several new people that I’ve actually started to become good friends with. I think the fire pit helped break the ice in that way.

There’s another reason that the fire pit was particularly great for this party – and it’s reason that would make outdoor fire pits good at any BBQ in the San Francisco Bay Area. The reason is that it was actually functionaly. It was technically summer here when the BBQ happened but it was one of those summer days that rapidly turns cold as soon as the sun goes down. We had all been excited to get some sun through the fog but then it went away and we were all chilly. The fire pit made us comfortable enough to keep the party going outside even though the air wasn’t warm anymore.

I probably won’t purchase a fire pit myself since the shared outdoor area at my apartment doesn’t really welcome things like this. However, I’m really glad that I know at least one person in the area who has one.

Tags: entertainment, fire pits, fun, party, socializing

I’ve been really lucky in the past few years in that I have made a large number of great new friends. I’m not just talking about the people that I kind of know and see around. I’m talking about good friends who are really there for me.

It wasn’t always this way. I’ve often found it difficult to make new friends as an adult. Since I work from home, figuring out where to meet new people is tough. And since I’m busy, it’s hard to make the time that you need to make in order to really build up friendships.

But I’ve been successful at it lately and I’ve benefitted from that greatly. Here are some tidbits of info on how I’ve managed to make new friends:

• Met people through the Internet. Whether it’s Craigslist or Meetup.com or just via commenting on the blogs of local bloggers, I’ve used the Internet to make that initial connection. It’s just so much easier than approaching someone in a coffee shop, I think.
• Found things I like to do. It helps to have some shared activity when making new friends so I find things that I like to do and then invite along new people that I want to be better friends with.
• Said yes when people invited me to things. The more you go out, the more chance you have of making new friends, right?
• Maintained connections online. I find that sites like Facebook and chat conversations on AIM make it easy to really trade information and get to know someone even when you can’t get together in person all of the time. It’s not a substitute for real face-to-face connecting but it’s definitely a great supplement.
• Shared myself openly. The more open and honest I am about who I am and what’s going on with me, the stronger the connections that I’ve been able to make with others.

What else are people doing to make new friends as adults?

Tags: ehow, friendship, kathryn vercillo, meeting people, Relationships, socializing, society