Things have been so busy here the past several weeks but it’s always important to stop and check in with yourself and others so you don’t get overwhelmed or burnt out or just plain exhausted. That’s something I learned the hard way over the years and so I’ve taken it to heart. That’s why I thought I’d just do a little check-in here today about what’s been going on and where my head’s at.

Writing, Writing, Writing

The main thing that’s taking up my time right now is that I’m trying to get my book (on the health benefits of crochet) finished by the end of the month. I started this book last summer. I did a ton of interviews in those first few months and put out a lot of content but then I had to take a couple of months away from it. I needed that distance to get a clearer picture of where it was going. So I resumed the work last month and it’s my main focus this month. I’ve decided to self-publish the book for a range of different reasons, the main one being that I think that’s where the publishing industry is going these days and that’s where I want to be. So even after I get the final draft done, there’s still going to be a lot of work to do. I can’t spend forever on the project (financially, emotionally or creatively) so I have to get it done sooner rather than later.

Writing is a funny thing. There will be days when I write the entire day and it’s great. And then there will be days when I have to practically chain myself at the computer and I still only get a few words out. It seems to have nothing to do with the current content or my enthusiasm for the project or anything else that’s obvious on the surface. It’s just the ebbs and flows of the creative mind. It’s an interesting process learning to tangle with that. On the one hand, you do sometimes have to force yourself to sit there and get the work going. And on the other hand, you also need to give respect to the fact that some days the creative bug is burrowed so deep beneath the surface that trying to get in there and dig it out would do more damage to your brain than good. Learning that balance – when to push and when to relax and be okay with nothing happening – is something I’ve been working on for what seems like my entire life. I’m getting better with it although there are definitely days when I am super impatient for that bug to make its way to the surface so I can stop scratching the itch and just write.

I will say that it really helps that almost everything else I’m writing right now is stuff that I enjoy and want to be writing, like my crochet blog. I do have a few clients that I’m still working for because bills do need to be paid but I chose them really carefully and have limited how much I’ll do. It’s tempting to take on more jobs to reduce financial strain but doing too much non-inspiring writing really saps the creative energy and makes it nearly impossible to get done the work that is at the heart of what I want to do.

But Then There’s Money

I do admit I’m in a small battle with finances right now. I mostly try to handle it as maturely as possible without giving it too much attention. I do budget and pay attention to where my money is and make sure my bills aren’t late and all that. But I’m aware that I’m not making as much as I need to be and I have to consciously keep pushing that out of my mind because if making money is the focus then the creativity gets lost and that’s when discontent with life can seep in. I definitely need to be making a certain amount to maintain a lifestyle I want and enjoy but it’s also necessary that the money is earned by doing something I enjoy so it’s this whole tricky thing to figure out. This is definitely something I’ve also gotten better at over the years but during the times when the creativity is rich but the bank account is not it’s sometimes tough to remember how to be happy with what I have.

And Some Health Things

There are a few health things going on that I need to address and since I’ve been super focused on my work I haven’t really been doing that. One simple but major one is that I need to start exercising more. I had planned to start doing a long San Francisco stairway walk once a week and it’s been three or four weeks since I started that plan and I’ve yet to do any walks. And it keeps twinging at me that I want to go back to yoga but I’ve made no effort to do that either. I tend to be a much more in-my-head person than in-my-body person for sure. I am happy to sit for hours and hours messing with the computer or writing or doodling or thinking or daydreaming or reading or whatever. It takes much more conscious effort to enjoy physical activity. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy it. I love hiking. I like yoga. I enjoy walks. But those are things that I have to tell myself to go do because, hey, remember, you like those, whereas doing sedentary creative activities comes naturally. It’s hard to justify taking the time to do those things when I have work and creative things I want to do. But it’s an area that needs balance so I need to start giving it some attention.

The other possibly more pressing issue is that I think something is going on with my thyroid/ metabolism/ anemia … I am tired A LOT (and before you say that exercising more would help with that – I know, but at the same time, you need to have at least a little energy to exercise and some days I literally have NONE). In the past I’ve had mild anemia. And low thyroid runs in my family. I know that two years ago, my thyroid tested in the low range of normal so it’s something I have to watch. However, I’ve been holding off on actually going to the doctor until I try a few things to get some more information. I’ve started taking iron supplements again. I’m making sure to stay hydrated better than I was before. I’m definitely eating right (which I’d been mostly doing for awhile, though). I’m getting the rest I need. And partially I’m waiting to see if anything changes as my body regulates to its own hormone production since I stopped taking birth control pills five or six weeks ago. Actually, that’s one of the reasons I started thinking anemia may be the problem again since I’m starting to have regular periods again (on the pill it was only once every 3-4 months). So I’m gathering information and taking notes and then I’ll go to the doctor in a month or so if things haven’t improved. Or at least that’s the plan at this point.

On Dating

I don’t feel like getting too far into this at this point but thought I’d make a note that I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps I’m just not ready to date yet. Last summer saw the end of a four and a half year relationship that I didn’t really want to end. I was thinking the past couple of months that I was ready to date and had started exploring my options. I went out at a couple times and made a few other plans that fell through. And all it did was make me not want to date. In being really honest with myself, I can see that there’s nothing wrong with the dates or the men but that I’m probably just not ready to go there despite wanting to be ready. So I’ll give it more time I guess.

And Some Other Things

I haven’t gotten too far into my plan to watch classic romance movies this month. I super loved Breakfast at Tiffany’s but haven’t found a single other movie I want to watch. Any suggestions? It’s gotta be available streaming on Netflix or Hulu.

My brother and sister and I pooled our thoughts and resources and got my mom the gift of a Mystery Theater Dinner for Valentine’s Day. It was fun to coordinate with them. I have been to mystery theater once before and it’s a silly good time. I actually went because I was hired as a marketing person. I was too young and inexperienced to actually do it and I quit almost immediately. As a youngster I was much better at talking my way into jobs than actually going to them. But as part of my interview I had to see the show so that’s why I’ve been and like I said it’s silly fun.

I’m reading more again. I had stopped reading a lot for awhile but lately I’ve been getting sucked into a variety of different books. I just finished reading The Man in the Gray Flannel Skirt. I’ll review it more in depth here in a day or two but just wanted to say that I adored it.

And that’s all for now folks …